Thursday, July 23, 2009

File Under Things NOT To Do For Your Kids

Today was Kids' Day Races at the Park County Fair. Both Charlie and Augusta took part, to their monetary benefit. Charlie, the C H A M P I O N of running off from Mom and Dad, won a dollar bill for the 0 -4 year old dash. Augusta won an assortment of quarters and fifty-cent pieces for her efforts. "It's just like what the Tooth Fairy brought me!"

THEN came the mom and dad dashes. "Mommie! Will you run?" says Augusta. I'm in shorts, tank, decent bra and Keens. "Sure" says the stupid, forty-year old me. "I hope I don't fall..."

On your marks, get set, GO! > > > > > > > > CRASH! Skid.... ouch.

"It was the shoes. I know I'm clumsy, but the damn shoes helped!"

Bloody knees, bashed hip and grass rash to boot.

Scott's turn. He's wearing Keens, too.

Guess what? Lather, rinse, repeat...

Our children, scarred for life by two parents with the Scandinavian klutz gene AND deadly shoes.
Me? Just scarred.

As Scott said "good thing we weren't running from a bear..."
Or a mountain lion.
Or a ticked-off moose...

So, to recap...
• Charlie and Augusta, about three bucks richer from their running.
• Justine, two big band-aids from the EMTs' first aid wagon.
• Scott, believing me the next time when I say "it was the shoes!" Like there'll be a next time...

Think I should write Keen about their $90 death rides?


kate said...

Another good place to buy Keen footware is
Keen Newport - Womens - The Newport is the foundation of the Keen Footwear line. Designed to perform in adverse conditions, the razor siped outsole and 3mm lugs provide excellent traction. A true hybrid, the waterproof uppers withstand the abuse of saltwater and dirt, while providing supple comfort and stylish looks.

lesgirly said...

OMG, I haven't laughed this hard since I saw Hangover. You really should be a comedy writer, J. :highfive:


Justine's HouseWreck said...

Uh, buy more Keens? Keens that are death rides? To reiterate D E A T H R I D E S. No thanks. So very glad that we weren't trying to run with a child or out run a bear...